Welcome! I am glad that you are here. Yesterday, I had a bad day. We all have them and this one was right before my birthday. Maybe it is to help my birthday shine.:) If you want to learn how to recover and deal with a no good, very bad, horrible day, please read on. Mine began with a hangry child and both of my kids who thought that their maid, cook, and chaffeur had arrived on the scene in the form of yours truly. My husband, kids, and I have developed morning and evening checklists for the kids and I constantly refer to them like, "Do your list", and "Check your list" that I cannot stand to hear myself say it anymore. The list includes "unpack your stinky lunch bag, choose if you are going to make your lunch (oh, dear, please no ) or take hot lunch (fingers crossed 🙂 )", and more. While the day was well intentioned, things don't go as planned just because you coach and rehearse the list. The morning included screaming, limit setting, apologizing, hugs, "I love you's", and "Let's all have a better day." It then continued with a stressful pickup after school of being late to get my kids and learning that my 6 year-old son was "kicked in the private parts" at school. Seriously? I felt so horrible.
As I celebrate another trip around the sun, I am practicing to live a more intentional life. Like all struggles in life, they are only valuable if you learn from them. To cope with a bad day, here are some intentional steps:
1) Acknowledge your role in the problem.
2) Note the lessons in the day.
3) Accept the situation (all of it, including all feelings).
4) Feel and deal.
5) Choose to see the bright spots.
6) Remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Yesterday was challenging because of unmet expectations for all and I acted like a victim and felt like I "failed." However, I escalated with one child and grumpily helped pack a lunch or two (eventhough it is on their evening list), and I visually reminded my son that his lunch bag, "ahem", was not in his backpack. Just because my one child was hangry and was anything but polite, both of my children were not on top of their lunch prep, and I struggled to be neutral when getting emotionally berated, it did not make me a bad mother.
Later, I self-soothed by crying and I reached out and sought solace from my dad about many stressful things. My husband and I reviewed the mishaps, acknowledged the positives, and came up with a plan to do better as a team. At night, I realized that I survived the chaos and there were bright moments. I had great sessions with my clients, took my son to his Ninja class, saw him beam and smile up at me in the balcony every few minutes, had great cuddle and reading time with my son, and had a soul filling phone call with my best friend who I have known since we were 3. Still sad at the end of the day and struggling to shake the overall negative feelings and emotional drain, I also knew that tomorrow could only be better.
What helps you recover and grow after a "bad" day? Thanks for joining me today.
With loving kindness,
Kerry
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