Hello BASK friends! With my experience as a suicide prevention trainer, consultant, and mental health provider, I wrote this article to help you feel more empowered and skilled in helping someone who is suicidal.
September is Suicide Prevention Month and today, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. Suicide prevention is everyone's job. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in adults in the United States. About 44,965 individuals die by suicide each year. (1). It is the second leading cause of death in individuals who are ages 10-34 (2). It is the 4th leading cause of death in adults ages 35-54 and the eighth leading cause of death in individuals who are 55-64. There are 25 attempts for every completion (2). For every person who takes his/her life, there are at least 6 survivors (loved ones, friends impacted by the suicide). Women make more suicide attempts and men have a higher completion rate due to the lethality of the means. Please check out the links under "Resources" for more statistics and groups at risk.
I am here to share the good news. Suicide is one of the most preventable kinds of death. Psychology autopsies, which are interviews with family and friends, show that 90% of individuals who have died by suicide have told someone beforehand.
It is often extremely terrifying and unsettling when you know or suspect someone is suicidal. When we are scared or nervous, our well-meaning reactions can be unhelpful. Here are some steps to help you help someone who is suicidal.
1) Learn the warning signs of depression and risk factors for suicide:
2) Ask the person if he/she is suicidal. Do not wait. If you feel you cannot ask, get consultation from a suicide hotline, local mental health provider, etc. You will not put the idea in their head. That is a myth. Make time to have that conversation. Have referral resources on hand. Put the sentence in the form of the positive and offer some supportive language, "Are you suicidal? Are you considering taking your life? You know people who have described what you are saying have thought about ending their life. Are you having these thoughts too? Have you made any plans? Do you have any means to kill yourself?" and of course, stating,"I am concerned about you," shows empathy and genuine care for a person.
3) Find out more about the plan using the acronym, SLAP (How specific is the plan, how lethal is the means, how available is the means, what is the proximity of a rescuer?)
4) Avoid saying it in the negative, "You are not suicidal, are you?" While important to ask the question, this format can put someone on the defensive. It can inadvertently demand a "no”, even when someone truly may be suicidal. Unfortunately, this can shut down the communication.
5) Check your own views on suicide. Suicide is associated with a deep desperation, profound hopelessness, and often a mental illness. When someone is in the grip of a suicidal crisis, his/her ability to reason and think clearly is severely compromised. Calling it and/or viewing it as selfish contributes to the shame and pain that is associated and motivates the person to see suicide as the "only option." We lash out and call it “selfish” when we experience so much pain caused by the suicide.
6) Be there to listen and avoid saying things like, "You can't be. You have everything going for you. Please don't say that. Don't talk like that." Avoid any judgment or comments that would make that person backtrack, deny, avoid, or shut down. The key is to keep the lines of communication open.
7) Make sure that they are safe and get them to a professional right away. Do not leave a suicidal person alone. Provide as much relevant background to the healthcare provider(s) so they can understand the reason for the referral and intervene in the most effective way.
8) Follow up with the person after they went to the provider. Convey your concerns and offer ongoing support.
Finally, if you are still wanting to learn more about how to help someone who is suicidal, sign up to take a free course in suicide prevention. You can learn more by clicking here. If you or someone you know is suicidal, contact the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/or take them to the nearest emergency room. Remember your job is not to evaluate the person. That job is for mental health professionals. Your job is to have a caring conversation, listen empathetically, and try to get that person to safety (in the presence of a mental health practitioner). Thanks for reading. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Best,
Kerry
Resources:
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