I am one of four children from a loving supportive family and have lived more than half of my life away from my family of origin. I have led a different path. Two of my siblings stayed in our city and my youngest who has lived on each coast, is back on the East coast. As the second born, middle girl, I have felt a little like a misfit." My older sister is the "oldest" and my younger sister is the "youngest or the baby", and my brother is the "only boy." For some reason, I was the child who had everything different. I was born at a different hospital than my 3 other siblings. I went to a different pre-school than my 3 other siblings. Did I just say that? 😉 I chose a different Ohio school than my older sister, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Ohio University, my alma mater, is what set the course for my adult life. At Ohio University, I met the very best friends a person can have and seven of us, "The Dancing Queens", lived together for two years. We also added our best guy's friend's wife to our crew. I literally feel like I hit the friends jackpot there. The night after graduation I cried having to move on from my friend family. Luckily, the next day, we all went to the beach to mark the end of our fabulous and fun "4 year-plan" in Athens.
After college, my good friend who taught outdoor education urged me to do the same since I was not ready to dive into a career or graduate school. Leaving the comfort of my home state and social support to go do something new and adventurous was exciting and scary. I met the coolest people at my job and we came from all over the country to teach young children outdoor education and lived on site. Nestled up high in the Northwestern corner of Connecticut in a gorgeous setting, I got to play for a living. Next, I moved to Vermont and taught children skiing, which is where I met my husband.
Since getting married, I have always lived far away from my family of origin. Family visits are special and we try to go see people as much as we can. We have lived in a lot of places (Vermont, Ohio, Alabama, and now Colorado). One thing that has remained a constant in my life are my friends who I call family. My next-door neighbor, who is my first best friend (besides my husband), and I met when we were three years old. I traveled through Europe with one of my college friends and we pick up where we left off every time we talk. My college gals and I always aim to see each other at least once a year, if we can. We laugh so hard until it hurts and we cry too, sharing what it is like to raise our children and be in this phase of our life. In Colorado, my husband and I value our friendships and especially nurture those connections who feel like family. Life can literally suck the "you know what out of you." Am I right? Having great friends who know you, love you, pick you up when you are feeling down, invite you in for dinner during an impromptu visit, and see you for who you are is some of the best therapy out there. I am qualified to say that being a therapist. Adult friendships can be hard to develop and maintain due to the chaotic pace of life. Regardless, it is important to have people who "get you." Research shows that when we have positive social connections,we tend to be happier and healthier. Having good friendships is associated with stronger immunity, lower stress, improved self-confidence, increased happiness, and better overall health. If you are in doubt, take those extra steps (no matter the gesture) to nurture your friendships and social connections. If you are needing to build a community, start small and do things that interest you in your neighborhood or where you spend a lot of your time. What are your favorite ways to make friends as an adult? How do you nurture your friendships? What is the next step you can take in strengthening your social support? As always, thanks for reading.
With loving kindness,
Kerry
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I am one of four children from a loving supportive family and have lived more than half of my life away from my family of origin. I have led a different path. Two of my siblings stayed in our city and my youngest who has lived on each coast, is back on the East coast. […]
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