The Self-Care Buzz is Everywhere.
Kerry, How is BASK Different?This question is so important. I believe that every single teen and adult can benefit from raising their self-care game. I don't see self-care as just hot epsom salt baths, yummy dark chocolate (not the chocolate candy crap), and a great book. Boy, do I love all of those things. BASK is a roadmap for life as it is a comprehensive philosophy to support your healthy relationships with yourself, food, body, and others. I wish I had this information well before my adult years. Nevertheless, it is never too late to make BASK a priority and this is why I am excited to share it with you.
I See You Because I Have Been
There and I Am Here.Five years into parenthood (with a 5 year-old and 1 1/2 year-old) and soon after my family and I moved to Colorado for my husband's job, I was unemployed for the first time in my adult life and was busy settling everyone into our new routine. The transition was relatively smooth, but not for everyone. My husband and I were struggling with our oldest who was not a happy camper and let us know it. She left the only home and school she had ever known and had to start all over. One of her strengths is her adaptability with new settings. Also, sadly, she hasn't had a choice. I was overwhelmed, beyond irritable, and constantly feeling like I was not enough. When there was too much tension at home, I decided that something had to change. I reached out, started working with a therapist and got our daughter some help too. Through therapy, I have learned about my expectations for myself and how to be kinder and gentler to myself. I learned the power of "and". For example, we can all be doing our best AND do better.
(Ahh. Adulting. It takes on a life of its own doesn't it? No one ever prepared us for this! ;) Whether you are a parent or just learning how to adult, BASK is for you.) Parenting children is one of our greatest honors and challenges and parenting children with high special needs takes it to a different orbit. (When we are learning to step more into adult responsibilities,) our negative self-talk is a beast. Isn't it? It makes you feel like you are not good enough and that you are never going to get it all done. Overwhelm and stress are damaging your sense of self, your relationships, and your health.
How do you even fit in taking care of yourself when you have got meals to plan and cook, (exams to study for, papers to write), finances to review, phone calls and emails to make, doctors and school officials to chat with, laundry, laundry, and more laundry to do, thank you letters to write, crap from the weekend to put away, dirty dishes, appointments to schedule and or drive to, etc., work to catch up on, and maybe even a shower.
When you are so overwhelmed, you are yelling at your partner, your kids, your friends, or maybe even your neighbor (Well. maybe not aloud). Inside you feel so sad and worthless and doubt your every move. Your brain can only handle so many details and tasks. You feel out of control, completely wiped out, and have zero left to give. Your idea of the perfect day is a momcation or staying overnight at a hotel all by yourself, eating your favorite foods and catching up on the Bachelor. Remember the Calgon ad, "Calgon, take me away!" I used to think what in the holy hell is this? Now, flashforward to momhood. Not a whole lot has changed on the Mom Stress front.